For the past 9 days I've been on the Blessed Herb cleanse. I'm going to spare you the gross details. If you want gross, go to the web site and check out the photo testimonials.
What is it? The cleanse starts with a 3-day pre-cleanse where you slowly cut down portion size all while taking the powder and pills. Then comes the 5-day liquids-only fast where you consume only the powder mixed with apple juice (gritty, bloaty), the pills, water, and some vegetable broth. This is then followed by the 1-day post-cleanse to slowly introduce normal food back into your system.
So what's it feel like? I wasn't too hungry (surprisingly), got headaches the first few days (normal), felt bloated and slightly nauseated (also normal), but for the most part could go about my day as usual minus exercise (but I didn't do much of that before the cleanse). There was a pretty constant feeling of bloat and nausea, which is probably why you don't feel hungry--you are too disgusted to eat. I've done a couple of other cleanses in the past (read: I've had lots of disgusting powder drinks) and this drink isn't so bad at first. By Day 7, it made me gag. I'm on my last day of the cleanse and have thankfully returned to the world of chewing. In retrospect, I'm sure that the cleanse was good for overall digestive health, expelling toxins, out with the old, and so forth. But I've done other cleanses and have felt better both during and after. I think it's good to do a cleanse every now and again. We eat so much crap (and by "we" I mean ME), like junk food, trans fats, processed white flour, on and on, that it is a good idea to give your body a little refresh.
So why'd I do this one in particular? Partly to see if I could. Partly to see what would happen, to see if my "results" would be as ... uhhh, "impressive?" "disturbing?"... as the photo testimonials. Partly to simply clear out the ol' GI because, honestly, no one wants a John Wayne colon (supposedly it weighed 30 lbs when he died) and no one wants to go out like Elvis (which my brother lovingly calls the Dump of Death). And Elvis's was reportedly 60 lbs!! [Insert your own King/Throne joke here.] OK, this entry is getting a little TMI. I know blogging is a somewhat anonymous, removed way of communicating, but all my readers (all 4 of you) know who I am!! Plus, describing my BMs in detail, by any means, is overshare. I just can't do it. What I can say is that I've never thought so much about poop! I'm glad it is over and I can return to normal life! Now someone please pass me the take-out menu.
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2 comments:
Oh dear God. I love you but really? Really? It's lunchtime here man...blah....
I thought about doing one of these things, but after reading a lot about them I now put them in the same category as ear candles. Novel, a change of pace, but not necessary. I think the difference in your, ahem, waste is mostly attributable to the stuff that you take as part of the regimen. I can just see the person who invented them: "This stuff makes your stomach hurt and your poop black. It must be a cleanser."
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